The Year That Was

Approaching the cafeteria for lunch, I held my usual IKEA container with black rice to heat up in the microwave when my colleague M greeted me. “Still on a diet?” he said with a smile. “Hmm.. it’s not a ‘diet’ at all. It’s a lifestyle change. Not because I’ve reached my goal means I would stop and return to old habits.” He nodded and said, ” I think that’s my problem. My cholesterol would be good after having a bad blood test result. Once it’s good I would eat anything again.” In truth, I have not reached my ‘goal of all goals’ yet, I guess that’s the secret of staying focused – never stop setting a new one.

A lot of people commented on how much weight I lost in 2017, more than any other work I’ve done. I don’t whether that’s good or bad though 😂 Seriously speaking, if I had known earlier what I know now, I would not have allowed myself to gain that much of weight during and after pregnancy. Lucky that this year, it wasn’t too late for me to realize that bringing my health back was rooted on planning to succeed at it.

So it’s the year that was. Same time in 2017, I set zero goals because I never really believed in new year’s resolutions anymore. However, it was in 2017 when I realized that Goals work when we understand our bigger “WHY” – whether we pursue health goals, travel goals, relationship goals, work goals, wealth goals or any self-improvement goals.

I am generally satisfied with what I’ve achieved in the past year, but the difference maker was really my overall health. With my “slow” progress came a more focused approach on other areas of my life, simply because I had more energy to do it.

There were random days between February towards year end where I started a few things, big and small, that made life what it is now. Here is a rundown of the year that was.

1) Traveling with the family – if there is ever a goal that I plan for at the beginning of the year that materializes quickly and almost surely, it is the plan to travel somewhere. The family went to Hong Kong and Macau in Feb last year, which had the perfect cool weather in the teens. Shopping at Harbour City/Causeway Bay, touring Disneyland, Ocean Park, Victoria Peak, walking the streets downtown, admiring the beauty, elegance and footwear (!) of Hong Kongers, staying in a semi-serviced apartment were some of the stuff we enjoyed. It was also the first time we traveled with my mom by plane to a foreign country.

The family also had a “sudden” decision to go home to Manila midyear, which delighted my son the most, having to spend time with his cousin (my 10 year old niece Gavin) almost all throughout our stay. We had a short but nice time at Pico de Loro Beach Resort, where we also met some of our cousins and their families by coincidence. The usual trip to Batangas and Cavite gave us a chance to spend time with relatives, visit the grave of my late father, our grandparents, uncles and aunts, and of course, eat local delicacies.

2) Health takes priority – “One day or Day one, you decide.” There were many wakeup calls in the last 2 years that pushed me to finally decide to lose weight for real – seeing people close to me get sick has taught me not to delay plans further to get back in shape. To be honest, it was like a dream that I didn’t know how to achieve. There was no specific goal, only a wish to lose some weight, maybe if I exercised more? Or eat less?

The hardest part of doing anything uncomfortable is to start. So one random day in Feb, I told my husband that I’m going to start using the treadmill again. I set a small goal of 10mins a day, 3x a week. What actually happened was slightly better, about 20-30mins a day, 4x a week. A few days of exercise made me a more responsible eater – rejecting food that would only increase my calories but not my satisfaction, avoiding unhealthy snacking by replacing it with library visits, and gradually increasing my physical activity in the weeks that followed. After I lost 5kg in 6 weeks, I felt more energized to pursue improvement in other areas of my life, like I have the power over everything I focused on. Imagine my drive after losing 16kg and more.

In April, I got introduced to a health program that helped me sustain good eating and exercise habits. I was off the program after a month, but I continue to apply what I learned by consuming whole, natural foods and doing exercises at home and outdoors (thank you, bodyboss.com!) . I read in a New York Times’ Well article that exercise somehow changes our microbiome, that our bodies’ ability to resist and heal tissue damage can improve with more exercise compared to being sedentary. This has been my motivation knowing that aging is something I can’t avoid, but I can do something about my strength and my overall health.

3) Nurture over nature at work – “If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, become more, you are a true leader.” The key words I learned to live by in 2017 are “intentional”, “mindful” and “goal-oriented”. Although I enjoy teaching, training/coaching had not been my focus for many years. I was too busy doing my own stuff. I tried my best to delegate more, trust more and let go of perfection, because done is better than perfect. I wanted to see my team grow no matter how uncomfortable it was. I learned that it is not enough that I am inspired by their energy and passion, it is my role to continue tapping potential and igniting interest in areas that are often overlooked. While I may not be able to change character (nature), I should at least try to influence behavior (nurture). I became more honest and candid with feedback to help them improve as a person and as a professional. Gone are the days when I would assume that by setting a good example is enough, it is imperative that I match actions with words too. This is something I aim to continue, because life is about making an impact, not just making an income. I also aim to influence more team members to live healthier!

“In any given moment, we have two options: to step forward into growth or to step back into safety.”<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

4) “Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago,” reflects how we’d like to see ourselves in the future no matter how challenging and financially draining investing can be. Noticing how reckless we were with money for a period of time, with shopping, taking cab or Uber for every trip, dining out and traveling taking up a huge chunk of our finances (not including necessities), has led me to think that the money we should be saving was being squandered on stuff that only provides temporary convenience. A couple of friends have asked about investing in real-estate property in Singapore, but we always thought that we couldn’t afford it unless it was HDB (which we aren’t eligible to buy). One fine day, I contacted my friend/former colleague who’s in the property business just to ask how much money we should be pooling to buy a private apartment “someday”. That someday became one random day in May, after a few hours of “window-shopping”, calculating how much we have in the bank and my CPF, analyzing benefits and risks of investing sooner rather than later, and in the end going with our gut feel that that might be the right day and the right investment to make.

We have since cut down our spending since then, by at least half of what we’d normally spend. Only shows that if we wanted something, there are a thousand ways. There aren’t sleepless nights yet, only days when I look at my bank account and pray that we’d survive. We already did for 8 months! Everyone has to be in tip-top health as medical expenses can be daunting. We can breathe a little bit more now, but I know this is only the start of many more hardcore ‘adulting’ decisions we had to make.

5) Making time for who/what I love (including myself). There is no other time I would be younger or probably stronger than now. While I no longer believe in multi-tasking, I believe in making time for things that are important to my sanity/happiness. There is probably less parent-guilt now whenever I go out on my own, with my husband, with a family member or with a friend than any other year since I had my son. I felt that it was necessary to be in touch with those who matter, even for a brief chat or exchange of how-are-you’s.

A bi-weekly casual dinner date (at the food court!) with movie and popcorn was enough for me and Lee to unwind, talk about work or about Liev or forget about the world for a couple of hours. When my mom would be in Singapore, we’d have an occasional after-work stroll around the mall. Our weekends are always exclusive to Liev, whether it’s a trip to a park or playground anywhere within the island-state. It was my first time in a long time to spend a night with my best friend Alma during the her business trip here where we talked longer than we slept, even with work the next day. Dinner or coffee with close friends from elementary, college and former colleagues were always a welcome respite from the work-home routine. A simple trip to the library, Starbucks or walking the long route home give me breathing space to think, write my plans down, work on unfinished business (and avoid the commute) or simply read a book.

6) Following my passion – writing! Started this blog in November in attempt to document my thoughts and hopefully share to whoever who reads this some learning or insight that comes about, whether it’s a memory or a recent experience. I used to envy bloggers who can write impromptu about a topic and yes, sometimes I felt like well, I can do that too!

Blogging is a great way to write and have others read your amateur work even if you’re not really a professional writer. In this age of “everyone has a say” in the internet, my aim is to spread positivity without losing touch of what’s real. There would be posts that may not all evoke good, happy feelings but what I’d promise is there would be something to learn. After all each experience is extraordinary no matter how simple. Boring is out of my vocabulary 😉

I probably have never been as precise as ever in my life when it came to reflecting on the year that has passed and writing down what I’ve done and accomplished. There were failures too, that I will probably reserve for another post.

“You’ll never remember the moments you spent hours watching TV.” It is entirely up to us to make life happy and exciting according to our own terms. Here’s to an even better year, 2018! ❤️❤️❤️